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[shakebadguysshake]

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𝐕𝐎𝐈𝐂𝐄 ★ 𝐕𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐎 ★ 𝐓𝐄𝐗𝐓 ★ 𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍

Comments

un: Cst.B.Fraser; text

[understood]

Hi, Ray.

Knowing as I do that you value forthrightness and accountability, (I recall a certain instance where you asked me to verbally acknowledge that I was about to endanger your life in a wildly bizarre way, for example) there is something I feel I should tell you. Also, Andy prised it out of me, and it seemed unfair that he should know and you should not. Also, given the nature of our partnership, you may find the information relevant.

Anyway, I'm having what might be referred to by some as a crisis of identity. I'm working to resolve it and I'm sure it's nothing to be concerned about.

[understood]

PS - I hope you're having a good day at work.

[understood]

PPS - Please pick up a cabbage and some eggs on your way home, if you'd be so kind.

[shakebadguysshake]

I am having an okay day at work and yes, I can pick up cabbage on the way home

About the other stuff. You say it's nothing to be concerned about, but you say that a lot when it's something concerning.
You feel up to telling me what KIND of crisis of identity we're talking about here?
Like you forgot who you were again or like something new???

PS I love you and I'll help you through this, okay?

[understood]

I assure you, I'm not suffering from any kind of amnesia.

I love you, too.

[shakebadguysshake]

Okay, no amnesia is good.

Can you tell me what's up?

[understood]

The long and short of it is simply that I can't be a Mountie in Duplicity, and it's hard to know who I am without that to guide me.

[shakebadguysshake]

Ah, okay. I got you, I got you.
And I get that. I was a cop for so long, not being a cop feels weird.
I mean yeah I do security, but it's not the same.

I miss being out on cases with you, partner.

[understood]

As do I. But it's not just the work.

... in any case, as I said, it really is nothing to be concerned about. I suppose I'm just exploring a new and different sense of self, which is as yet unformed.

[shakebadguysshake]

Right, like.
You're not JUST a Mountie, you know?
I mean I know that's a big part of you, I know that.
But you're also a great dad to Dief.
You're a great fiance to me, and a real good friend to a lot of people.
And all that's part of you, too.

[understood]

I don't know if I'd say I consider my role in Dief's life to be parental, exactly, but your point is well taken. And appreciated, I might add. Thank you.

[shakebadguysshake]

Friend to Dief, then.
But I'm glad it helped, at least a little.

[understood]

I think I probably understand a little better how you must have felt when you were told to stop being Ray Vecchio.

[shakebadguysshake]

Yeah, it was uh.
It definitely wasn't easy.
Just stop being the guy you were for the past three years, go back to the old you.
But like, you know. Who even was the old me, at that point?

[understood]

You can't go backwards through life.

[shakebadguysshake]

That's an excellent point, Frase.
We gotta keep pushing ahead, you know?
So we gotta figure out who we are now.
Here, now, in this weird fucking city.

[understood]

"Ray's fiancé" feels like a good start, to me.

[shakebadguysshake]

Yeah I'm pretty damn happy being "Fraser's fiance", too.
Got a nice ring to it.

[understood]

Perhaps because of the alliteration.

[shakebadguysshake]

I think it's cuz I'm stupid in love with you.

[understood]

You may be right.

[shakebadguysshake]

Oh, come on.
You gotta say it back, now, yeah?
Tell me, Frase.
Tell me you're stupid in love with me.

[understood]

Oh, sorry, I didn't realize the protocol.
Ray, I am stupid in love with you.

[shakebadguysshake]

Oh absolutely, sure, yeah.
I say I love you, you gotta say it back.
Every time.

[understood]

Understood.