shakebadguysshake

No, yeah, that sounds fantastic
I always wanted kids
Maybe not like, tomorrow
But some day for sure

I know. But that's different from wanting them with me.

You're right
So, okay
Me, confirming that some day
I want kids with YOU, specifically

Thank you.
Sorry, I didn't mean to start this conversation over text.
I mean, I was thinking about it, admittedly.
I hadn't imagined we'd get this far, I suppose.

Neither did I
Considering like a month ago I was never planning on telling you I was in love with you
But here we are, right?

Here we are.
Is there anything you want to add to that picture?

Lots of warm clothes and maybe like a fireplace
I hear it gets cold up there
Like Chicago gets cold but up there is COLD

[ Fraser laughs at that string of messages. He was right, he does feel a lot better after talking to Ray. ]

We can have a fireplace and a wood stove.

Oh a wood stove, huh?
I'll have to learn to cook all over again
Wilderness cooking

I'll get you a nice one, with an oven.

This sounds pretty damned ideal
I'd want to work a few more years, when we get home
I'm not quite ready to retire, yet
But then I want the cabin and the dogs and the kids and the wood stove

I don't want to retire at all.
But I don't mind spending time in Chicago until you want to.

So you'd always be like
An on-call Mountie?
Forever?
I'm not asking cuz I don't want you to be, I'm asking cuz I don't know how Mountying works

Normally a posting lasts 3-5 years.
As a Liaison Officer it can be more long-term.
If I wanted to be able to stay close to home, and we didn't want to have to move often, then the most practical thing would be if I could get a position as a Community Constable.
That's not something I've considered before—there's more outreach work than field work, and you know field work has always been my area of interest.
I think if we had children, though, it would be for the best.
It might take years for such a position to become available, but I could keep looking while we're in Chicago.

I have this feeling
That they couldn't stop you from doing field work if they tried
Like even if you were a Community Constable
Or even retired
You'd just DO WORK

Which is one of the reasons it's preferable if I maintain some legal scope in which to do so, yes.
It isn't as if Community Constables never work cases, anyway.
I think it would be a good balance.
I don't want to be, well, an absentee father.

Nah, I don't think you could be, that's just not YOU
You care too much
About me, about our hypothetical future kids
You'd be there for them

I think sometimes it can be all too easy to care deeply for someone and not know how to express it. Or always think it's the wrong moment to express it, until one runs out of moments.
I don't want to take for granted that I'll be there if they need me.
Or if you need me.
I want to be there for everything. All of it.

And you will be
When it comes around
When we've got our cabin and our kids and dogs, you'll be around
I know you will be because I know YOU
You love your job, but it's not gonna keep you away from your family
The fact that you're worried about it lets me know that much

Thanks, Ray.
Anyway, it's something to think about for when we get home.
It's nice to have a plan like this.
I feel very fortunate.

I'm gonna be stupidly happy for the rest of my shift
Thinking about our cabin and our kids and our dogs

I'm glad.
I think I could probably get some sleep, now, only I don't want to stop talking with you.

Edited 2021-06-17 06:51 (UTC)

Go to sleep, Frase
And we'll talk more when I get home, if you're up
Okay?

Okay.
Goodnight.
I love you.

Love you, too
Sleep well

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